Alone
by Raspberry Muffin
Summary: Samantha lies in hospital, after being shot.(Now complete)
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Post Fallout. I'm bored and stuck on getting on with life, so I thought I'd leave you with this.

Disclaimer: Wish I did own it, but sadly I don't.

I'd been stuck in this damn hospital room for over a week now. There had been some complications, something more severe than they thought that was wrong with my leg, so I've got to lie here longer than expected. Bored out of my brains, all alone. Stuck with my depressing, mopey thoughts, it's the damn medication according to the doctor, it changes your mood. They should put on the box, side effects: nausea, drowsiness, depression, mood swings etc.

So I'm here, lying in bed, completely alone.

Jack, well I didn't expect Jack to come, not after everything. He had a family, he belonged there, with his girls. Not with me. He wouldn't come, it was too complicated. When he carried me out of the bookstore, laid me on the bench, it felt so final. I wondered if it had ever been real. I knew that I loved him once. Did he? If things were different and we were together, would he have cheated on me like he did on his wife? Like my mom used to say, a leopard can never change his spots.

Vivian had been, once. But she had her family to be with, like Jack. I miss her, I miss all of them. I guess understood why Vivian hadn't come, but God, I wish she would. I wish someone would.

Martin had come straight after all the hostages had come out, I vaguely remember him there, all the morphine they had me on didn't help. He hadn't been back though.

Danny, he had come after they found Sydney, and once again the day after. He had been twice, more than the others. He had made me smile, bought me flowers, and promised to come again the next day. But he hadn't. Some promise huh?

I hadn't seen any of them for about a week now, I guess they all have their own lives, but they are my life. They are pretty much the only friends, actually they are more then friends, family that I have. My real family, well my blood related (we aren't even half as close as I am with Danny, Viv, Martin and Jack), wouldn't come. My dad, he's basically non-existent.

My mom, she wouldn't come. She didn't agree with me taking a job in the police or FBI, as it was 'so dangerous', we hadn't talked in years. Sad really.

There really was no one.

It's so lonely in here, nothing to take my mind off that day. I keep reliving it. The sweltering heat, the sharp noise of a gun being fired, the cries from the others and then that God-awful pain. Like the skin was being peeled from my leg, and then someone was ramming this white-hot screwdriver into my thigh. Then that moment of clarity, when I was falling. The moment when I realised I had been shot. That simple moment when you feel like its the end, for a second I almost wished it was. But their faces, Danny's silly grin, Martin's half smile, Vivian's kind, concerned smile and Jack's amused smirk, flashed through my mind and I didn't want to go and leave them, I didn't want it to be the end. If I would have known it would be like this, I may have made a different wish. They are the only things holding me here, they are everything to me. I couldn't live without them. In this job, friends are what keep you sane, people who you can talk to about everything. Who understand what you are going through. None of them have been shot, but some have come close. I just wish that they were here, you know, someone sitting by the bed just to talk, or bring me chocolate, anything.

I know it sounds selfish but I can't understand why they haven't come to see me again. I miss them. I just keep staring at that empty chair next to the bed, wondering why there is no one in it to keep me company. Talk, laugh, joke. To help me forget I'm in here.

Everytime I wake up, I immediately look at that chair, hoping there will be someone there in it, waiting for me to wake. But there never is. The chair is always empty. I can see the looks of sympathy that the nurses give me, give each other. Wondering why I have hardly any visitors, feeling sorry for me lying all alone.

I simply don't understand. I know I would be with them, if one of them were in here, they mean too much to me to just not be there. Does that mean I don't mean that much to them? No course not. The pain killers are making think like this. Right?

I can't wait till I get out of this place. Hospitals are so....well depressing. And scarily clean. The sense of death lurks everywhere, like a small shadow that hides away in the corner, not wanting to be seen. Just waiting to pounce on some unsuspecting victim.

Well hopefully I'll be out soon, back in my own place which, well its no palace, but its better than this. I don't want to go back to the office though, I'm scared I guess. Things are going to be different, its obvious they are. I don't want them to be, I just want it be just like it was before this incident. I can't deal with their sympathy and pity.

But they will be different. I think I am different, in that moment just as the bullet hit me, I changed. Don't know if its for the better or worse yet.

It's getting dark now, and no one came. The night shift is just starting here. But they didn't come. I'm alone in the room with 3 cards, Danny, Vivian and Martin, and a bunch of flowers from Danny. There is no one here kissing me goodnight. Giving me a hug. Or just here to be here. No one coming to reassure me that I'm okay, and that everything is fine. I don't even have anyone to make everything better with a smile, like it seems in movies. In movies people recovering in hospital are always surrounded by loved ones, flowers, chocolate and balloons. Movies lie. In reality, you're alone. No one's coming. I'm lying here, gazing at the while tiled ceiling. I can feel tears forming in my eyes when I realize that I'm alone.


	2. Chapter 2 Ending 1

A/N: Ok, I'm gonna do 2 different endings so here's the first, hope you enjoy!

Please review!

Dis: Unfortunately don't own WAT.

It's the start of a new day, and the soft sunshine is coming in throught the window. I groan softly as I turn over in bed, my leg again feeling sore after the night. As I turn, my eyes catch a glimpse of a figure standing in the door way, at least I thought it was. I blink, and when my eyes re-open the figure is gone and I realise that it was just my wishful thinking. The start of another day, with no one here.

Sighing I turn back over, trying to find a comfortable position, which is difficult with the pain in my leg. I reach over and press the button to call the nurse. Why is my leg hurting so much today?

She comes, and checks over the usual things before increasing the morphine dose. Then tells me the usual, you will feel more drowsy blah blah blah, stuff I already know. I nod sleepily, the restless nights and medication catching up to me.

Glancing around the room through tired eyes, I idly notice that the flowers from Danny are starting to wilt and die, looking again I notice half of them have already died. No one's come to change them, get me new ones. I find myself wondering why they haven't come again. If anything had happened I would have heard, so I can scratch that off the list. I can't think of anything else.

I hope they come soon, I swear to God, it actually hurts I miss them so much. They're all I have.

Last night, (when I finally managed to get some sleep) I had a great dream, it was Thanksgiving, and instead of it just being Danny and I, all of my friends were there, and my mom. It felt so real, everyone was so happy. Everyone got along, and people were laughing and joking. It was like the kind of holiday season commercials you see on TV 'one big happy family', but it was real. I remember waking up, and crying when I realised it was a dream...wishing it would actually be like that.

I yawn, resting my head back on the pillow. I can feel my eyes get heavy, and I try and keep myself awake incase they come when I'm sleeping and I miss them. But it's no use. I am drifting off into my dreamland.

I wake with a start a few hours later, a sudden shooting pain in my leg having woken me up. The pain has now, thankfully, subsided into a dull ache, which is easier to handle than a sharp, constant pain.

A quick look at the room tells me everything is still the same, no ones changed the flowers. Doesn't seem like anyone's been. I'm still alone.

Yawning again, I try and stretch out my legs, hoping it won't cause too much pain. Unfortunately I seem to have stretched the wrong way, and a wave of pain shoots down my leg. I cringe, closing my eyes and wishing the pain away.

When I open my eyes, something seems to have shifted in the room. I shoot a hopeful glance towards the door, and I see a figure there. I blink surprised, and put a hand up to my head which is beginning to ache, covering my eyes for a moment. I look again, and the figure is still there, an indistinguishable look on his face. Danny smiles slightly and comes over to the bed. I'm in complete shock, and I think I may pass out. Don't get me wrong I'm glad he came, but why after so long?

"Hey." He choses to be the one to break the silence.

I feel myself starting to tear up. I'm so glad he came.

"Hi." my voice cracks, it hasn't been used in a while.

"How are you?" He asks gently, holding my hand and seating himself next to the bed.

"Ok. Why didn't you come sooner?" Unable to control my curiosity any longer. Wanting to know why he hadn't come when he had promised.

"I know I promised and I'm so sorry. I know you're upset-"

Upset? I thought. I'm beyond upset, he didn't even have the courtesy to call, you know to say he wouldn't be coming as soon as he hoped. But in that moment I realised I don't care that much that he didn't come, I'm just glad he's here now. I'm not alone anymore.

"I don't care." I manage to say. "I'm just glad you're here."

"Let me explain anyway. We had a case, and we had to fly out to Colorado. Viv and I just got back, Martin and Jack are flying in this afternoon. I'm so sorry."

"It's ok." I whisper, smiling to myself. They hadn't left me, they still care and that is all that mattered.

Danny leans over and wraps me in a hug, well the best he can when I'm lying down. I hold him tightly, reassuring myself that it's not a dream and that I'm not alone.


	3. Chapter 3 Ending 2

A/N: Here's the second ending, hope you enjoy this too. I'll admit, very unrealistic, but I was bored and the idea wouldn't leave my head. So yeah I do know it's weird.

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Well it's a new day, the sun is shining in through the window. And guess what? Still no one. It's 9.15, they would have had time to drop in before work. I just want to go back to sleep, and when I wake up everything will have been a dream, if I could wake up before I went into that bookstore, or before Jack and I started the affair...and changed that. Actually, if I could wake up and be 16 again, I would change so many things. Do so many things differently, and hopefully not end up in this hospital room alone.

I sigh, just wanting to go back to sleep and escape from this reality. Escape to my world of dreams, where it's peaceful, happy and safe. I let my eyes drift shut, allow my thoughts to wander, and soon I'm back there. And for not the first time I casually wonder what it would be like to stay.

My eyes fly open as I realise something, no nurses and doctors have some to see me for a while now either. The doctor told me a few days ago about my leg, and gave me some more medication- something about making sure to get rid of any potential infection. But nothing for a long time now.

Great. Not even the people who are paid to see me, can be bothered. Am I that repelling? I press the buzzer to call the nurse in, not because I'm in any pain, just because I want to see someone.

I wait and wait, but no one comes. I must have pressed it at least 3 times now. Great hospital this is. I hope I'm not in here for too much longer, it's so boring. I hope the cases are going alright. I actually want to get back to work, some people love having time off, but I hate it. I love my job.

I hate lying here, flat on my back not doing anything. It's a waste of time, a waste of everything. My leg doesn't hurt, I feel fine why can't I just go home? My comfy bed, where maybe I will actually get some rest, instead of lying here unable to sleep because some little machine keeps going beep, beep, beep. It one of those sounds, that just as you begin to get used to it, it just starts to annoy you again.

I wonder how everyone is. How the cases are going. What happened to Barry and Sydney. See if someone was here, they could give me the answers and I wouldn't be giving myself a headache.

Looking around I notice that the flowers Danny gave me are gone, I think they have been gone a while. I don't remember them being taken. The cards have gone too. When did they go? I had wanted to keep them.

I'm still surprisingly tired, even though all I have been doing is resting. I hope Jack doesn't keep me on desk duty when I get back. I just want to get back out there, help all the people who need helping. Instead I'm stuck lying in here.

Why is no one coming? I've pressed that damn bell so many times. Well if no one's coming here, I'll have to go to them. I struggle for a moment trying to sit up and swing my legs off the bed. Hey, I think gratefully, this hospital gown is a nice and long, that's good I wasn't looking forward to walking around half naked.

Ok, now to try and stand up. Looking around the room again I realise that there isn't even a crutch or anything. Well I'll just have to hobble. Who knew getting up and out of bed could be so much hassle?

I'm now stanging up, albeit shakily, but I'm up and that's all that matters. And my leg doesn't hurt too badly. I carefully try and take a few steps and notice that I can walk and I only have a very slight limp.

Walking out of the room and into the hospital corridor, I looked around. The light was harsh and bright to my eyes, which had been used to a dim room. There were very few people around, and the ones who were around seemed to be rushing everywhere, not seeming to even notice me at all. God, I must look such a sight, long bluey hospital gown, a huge white dressing covering my leg, pale skin and don't even get me started on my hair. I caught a glimpse of my reflection in a nearby window and shuddered.

I started walking down the corridors, looking for something, anything. Someone to talk to, hopefully one of my friends on their way up to see me. People continued to pass straight by me, all busy with their own things.

Finding myself in an unfamilliar corridor, it didn't seem to be patients rooms I gazed around puzzled. Reading one of the signs, it said 'Legal Problems? Come see us.' Looking down the corridor, I saw a long row of signs, and a very familiar group of figures.

Almost crying in relief I hobbled closer to Danny, Jack and Vivian standing outside one of the rooms. I stopped in shock, reading the sign outside the room they were in front of. 'Taylor and Co. Funeral services.'

Martin. He wasn't there. Oh God, did that mean...Suddenly sobs overcame me and I stood there crying, I hadn't even seen him. Didn't get a chance to say goodbye. sniffling and walking even closer, close enough to hear their conversation. "...even know she was allergic to penicillin." said Danny angrily, his eyes red from crying.

She? That meant it wasn't Martin. Then who? Maria? But why would Danny be so upset?

"Doctors make mistakes." said Vivian gently.

"But-" started Danny, before breaking down. Vivian putting an arm round his shoulders.

"Here's Martin." said Jack hollowly.

We all turned. I saw Martin racing down the corridor towards us.

"Thank God Martin, for a min-" Then I stopped, horrified, unable to believe what had just happened.

Martin had just walked straight through me.

That meant....Oh God. That meant, they were here for me. I was dead. That's why people didn't notice me. Everything made sense, except for me being dead. I didn't want to be dead.

I collapsed onto the floor, next to the others. So close but so far.

I was numb I couldn't feel anything, but I was a ghost they couldn't feel anything anyway. I couldn't believe it. What do I do? I'm so lost.

I'm dead. They didn't leave me, I guess I left them.

I found myself at my grave a few days later after the funeral. White roses and lillies lay on top, and I knew that was Danny's idea.

Suddenly a feeling of calm and peace came over me, and I knew I was moving on. I'd get to see my sister, Annie Miller would be there, many others. I wouldn't be alone.

And one day my friends would join me, but not yet. This is just the beginning of something new.


End file.
